Originally, I began writing this article with very different intentions. I wanted to share tips, tricks, encouragement, etc regarding the most common influences that bring us down and rob us of good mental energy. I had noticed some areas in my own life that were weighing me down as well as influences and attitudes of those around me. So, I started looking more into the patterns to give a name to what was happening.
However, as I typed away and searched within my own experiences and practices, I realized that I was very much living these situations without doing much about them. I wasn’t putting my own advice into practice, therefore, how could I recommend others do the same? How could I write about beating negativity when my words were coming from a negative place with a negative approach?
So, I took some time. Refocused. Turned the lens on myself and looked for these “thieves” in my own life. Only when I accepted my part in them, could I share the wisdom with you. Let’s give this another shot, shall we?
Here we go- 5 thieves that are stealing your good vibes and some quick fix ways to get on to living your best life.
1. You’re not making time/taking care of yourself
“Can’t find the time”
“Self-care is overrated”
“Too busy”
Staaawp. I’m calling out your bullshit.
I genuinely feel like this is the most important place to start if you want to change your mental and emotional space. Your happiness starts with you. It’s a gold mine to making a change and making yourself more available to the peace that you deserve to experience. So, stop your excuses.
The smallest efforts can cause the largest shifts here. You don’t have to block out an hour for a $100 massage or go to that yoga class 30 minutes away during rush hour traffic. I’m not even necessarily talking about the gym. Everyone is unique in their needs and at different stages of how they care for said needs.
But, if you’re starting from the ground up, or you haven’t started because you simply don’t know what to do, here are a few small habits you can incorporate into your day for drastic improvements and immediate satisfaction (because that’s what we all like, am I right?):
Meditate. (Apps that have guided my beginner practices include Headspace, Stop, Breathe, Think and Pacifica)
Do some yoga. (There are specific poses, flows and other deep stretches to aid individual needs. Yoga with Adriene will always be my recommendation.)
Journal.
Practice gratitude.
These can be done in 5-10 minutes. Heck, you could do them all in 20-30 minutes or less.
Stop robbing yourself. Make YOU a priority just as you make time to do laundry, get groceries, help others, etc. The dishes can wait. They’ll never need to worry about their souls.
2. You’re giving other people power over you.
What comes from around you can be just as toxic as what comes from in you. More so, even, as you have very little to no control beyond yourself. It can be hardest to cease this energy because not only do you have to speak up and/or try to redirect the conversation, but you have to make others see the effects of their attitudes, actions, words, etc. And, telling people how you feel is hard. It’s uncomfortable. But so is allowing them to zap you of energy and drag you down to their level of misery.
I’m not just talking about family and friends. Coworkers, neighbors, buddies at the gym, the cashier you see every morning at Starbucks. We come into contact with all kinds of different people throughout a typical day. Some are just lurking and waiting to bump you down a notch. Find your own ways to call them out.
“Let’s talk about something else. What are you grateful for?”
Do you have similar interests with these people? An activity, sport, hobby? A cause you can put that energy toward? Can you start a challenge at work? A bet? Acts of kindness? A kindness secret Santa!! I’m practically giving you the best ideas.
On the other hand, if you’re giving others the power to talk about you in hurtful ways- separate yourself from them as quickly as possible. Remind yourself that the words they use are not your truths. Only you have the power to know and share those. We can’t control how other people interpret our truths- only what they are and what we do with them.
Click unfollow. Leave the text unanswered. Don’t participate. That is your power.
3. You’re not being present.
Caught in yesterday. Eager for tomorrow. Dreading tomorrow. Daydreaming about your weekend plans. It seems like we’re always somewhere else. Thinking about something that we can’t change, enjoy, or take action on in the present moment.
Stop. Put those thoughts away. That thinking is only burglarizing energy from what’s in front of you that needs it.
As a former serious obsessor, overanalyzer, overthinker, yadda yadda etc, I totally get that you can’t just stop thinking. You can’t ask the thoughts that draw your mind away to leave. Meditation helps. I think it really helped me cut off my thinking because you can learn to catch yourself and use your senses to bring you back to your surroundings. You’ll realize how those straying thoughts are not serving you. Promise.
I’m still not the best at this. It’s a practice for sure. However, a little practice of learning how to mentally be where you physically are can bring you so much peace. You’re here, and there is good available to you wherever you presently are. Looking around and show it that you’re watching.
4. You’re unknowingly letting negativity filter in and stay.
Are your “rough day at work” vibes following you home, or are you letting them hitch a ride? That’s right. Are you aware of what you carry across that threshold and into your personal space? Physically and mentally, of course?
The people around you. Where you live. The kind of job you have. Social media. TV. It’s almost endless with all of these possibilities for negativity to flood your mind. I know I’ve felt effects from these and more. Unless you’re a hermit, a monk, or maybe a unicorn, it’s impossible to avoid all of these influences.
The good in social media is the choice to fill your feeds to feed you. You can follow people, brands, influencers, and celebs who inspire you and unfollow the rest.
You don’t have to follow anyone. In real life or online.
Personally, I find Facebook in particular to be a very toxic and cold space. So, I ditched it (except for updating my blog page there). Just the other day, I realized that I go to the ‘Gram to lift myself up. I’ve cultivated it that way. It motivates me and inspires me and reminds me of what I’m working for. There are people I can relate to and someone I can always reach out to.
Here are a few of my favorite uplifting accounts for quotes:
And, here are some inspirational peeps who push me to be better and do more:
And me, duh!
So, while we can’t control every bad vibe from penetrating our personal bubbles, we can control what stays. Don’t wait until your bubble pops to make a change!
5. You’re settling
You want a better job. A happier relationship. A different routine from your predictable daily grind.
You’re not. Where you want. To be.
Personally, the thought of a 9-5 entraps me with fear. Don’t get me wrong. I get that many can thrive and even long for the convenience of a predictable schedule. To each their own, always. But, who really wants to be in a toxic environment which leaves you lifeless at the end of the day and isn’t getting you any closer to your goals?
You don’t have to stay. I’m not telling you to quit your job tomorrow because, for the majority, that’s so far from realistic. But, could you quit it in a month? Two? It depends on how much you want the change.
Invest in yourself, your future, and your ability to make a change toward your goals.
In the words of Jennifer Nettles,
Find what it means to be the girl Who changed her mind and changed her world I ain’t settlin’ for just getting by I’ve had enough so so for the rest of my life Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high Just enough ain’t enough this time
Now, how about a quick BONUS?
6. You’re relying on luck.
Have you ever thought about that word, luck? What is it to you? Magic? God? Something you’re powerless over?
I disagree. Luck isn’t real. You have more power than that.
Before you come at me with your pitchforks and exorcism candles- I’m not saying God isn’t real or magic isn’t real or any other higher power/divine intervention thing, etc isn’t real. What I am saying is stop relying on someone else to interfere and change what you can fight for. Be prepared. Show up to the job interview with knowledge of the company and your strengths and weaknesses and show them what you bring to the table. And, if you don’t get the job, it wasn’t bad luck. It wasn’t meant for you.
If you break down on the side of the highway and never make it to said interview, it wasn’t bad luck. You weren’t supposed to go. You were supposed to be on the side of the highway possibly out of the way of something much worse happening to you. So, learn to be grateful for the opportunities and trust the results.
Work hard. Be prepared. Accept the circumstances as pieces of the process.
How are you feeling after that? Inspired? Empowered? Ready to make some changes?
Positivity, optimism, happiness, frolicking with unicorns…call it what you may, but I believe they are results of the continuous choices and conscious effort that we make. We’ve got to learn how to recognize these thought patterns and “thieves” and lock in our power to do something about them for creating our best lives.
Comment. Message me. Tell me what you identified with, and what you’re going to do about it.
trainliketaylor@gmail.com
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