Wow. It’s done. I did it. I’m in LA.
Ok, I’ve been here for 12 days now. And, there’s so much I’ve wanted to share, but the adventures haven’t ended. It’s so odd. I’m not sure that my brain really gets how far from “home” I am. Like, I’ll see a license plate which of course says California and think to myself “I love that place,” without correcting myself by saying “I’m here.”
This first week has been a dream. It’s been frustrating. It’s been terrifying. It’s been unpredictable. However, I’m learning every moment of every day whether it’s something about myself or something about life. Trust. Kindness. Friendship. Motivation. There’s always, always a takeaway.
But, I’ve been keeping rather busy with priorities including finding a permanent place to unpack, taking advantage of all possible adventure, and sleep. For now, here are some of my favorite highlights of California life so far.
Ask me how many times I said to myself “what the fuck have I done” in the final few days leading up to my departure. Seeing my (nearly) empty bedroom crushed my soul. I started to realize what I was leaving behind and how I had no idea what I was walking into. In those moments, I reminded myself that I could be walking into my best life yet. I’d never know until I got on that plane and gave it my best shot.
First of all, I’d never flown alone. And, what I dreaded most about flying wasn’t the flight itself. I LOVE flying. It’s a rush. But, no. The dread which had been lingering since before I even booked the flight was the thought of TSA.
Don’t get me wrong as I’m tremendously grateful for all they do. Safety first without a doubt. However, flying as a T1D (type one diabetic) is obnoxious. Not only was I worried about keeping all of my extra insulin cold until I got to my rented apartment, but I was concerned about how to make it TSA approved for my carry-on. Most of my carry on was extra pump and dex supplies (on top of the entire checked suitcase 75% full of as many diabetes supplies as I could get my hands on before leaving) which I would need in case something happened to my luggage.
Among hoping and praying all medical crap was appropriately packed, next came the body scanner. There are horror stories from other T1Ds of pat downs and aggressive behavior from TSA thinking they know better when it comes to all of our devices. I’m blessed to never have had such an issue, and, after my luggage was checked and off, I scurried through probably one of the easiest security lines I’ll ever encounter. Bless you Logan Airport at 5am. Next to no wait. My insulin pump set off the body scanner as usual, but the kind TSA lady took me aside, did a quick pat where my pump was attached, swabbed my hands, and BOOM! With some Starbs iced coffee acquired immediately, I was off to my gate.
And then I was in the air.
And then I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my cardigan, duh!
As soon as I approached the correct luggage carousel at baggage claim, down came my suitcases. Really, could this have gone any smoother? After a quick soul sister reunion with my personal taxi service from across the border, it was off into the Cali sunshine.
Day one. Let’s go.
I’m so grateful that I got to spend my first few days out here reliving my favorite highlights. Runyon. The Walk of Fame. Coffee Bean. The Best Gift Store Ever. I had a top notch tour guide and personal shuttle service for the entire weekend, and it helped my heart settle in.
As for initial housing, I stayed with an adorable couple for my first 10 days. They were preparing to fly back home to Denmark for good, so there was next to no furniture in the place! It was simple and beautiful and still more than I needed. I adored the location of the apartment and felt safe there immediately. And, it wasn’t just because there was a Coffee Bean right across the street.
As for day two, well, it was a good reminder of where I was and how I got here. This all came about from staring at a sidewalk for several hours. Not just any sidewalk though.
THE Hollywood Walk of Fame.
If you’re new here, you should know I had my eyes on the ground 95% of the time and would stop and gasp every few steps. #FanGirlProblems. Even if I had been there once before, it’s a feeling. A vibe. I’d never turn away the happiness it gives me to see all of these people take a dream and give it life.
And, DUH, I visited Paula. While Paula’s star is older than myself, Simon’s is just weeks old. Between Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul’s stars, you could say my friends and I were quite extra in expressing our admiration, but if you know me (or all of us) you’d expect nothing less. I’m exceptionally proud of their accomplishments in their industries and honored to have them as role models in my beautiful life.
I’m tremendously thankful for my west coast squad and this full circle moment. You see, the universe pulled us all together over this one common factor that for so long we were told was nonsense. I may never have made it out here or at least believed in myself to try living out here if it wasn’t for the “nonsense.” So, a tremendous thank you to my girls for supporting this decision since day one.
Long after the weekend passed, I constantly felt the allure of adventure. Wanting to see this and go here and try that. However, I reminded myself I wasn’t going far anytime soon, and I had serious adulting to do. Like, idk maybe get a job or find the next place I’m going to live when my 10 days were up, ya know? I still decided to dedicate 5-10% of each day to something for my soul. A dance class with a friend. Going out and meeting new people. Walking down the street to the Grove for people watching and ice cream for dinner. Little things that got me off my butt and into the world to take full advantage of this magical experience.
I have such immense gratitude that I was blessed with a job opportunity almost immediately upon landing, and, although it won’t pay the bills, I’m grateful for the beautiful energy and people that fill the days I’m there for now. Who you’re surrounded by is just as crucial as what you’re doing. Even if I’m not really crawling towards my goals right now, I’m still growing, learning, creating and putting more good into the world.
The idea has finally, almost nearly worn off that I’m not here for a vacation. There’s no countdown to going back home. Surely, my social media posts over the last few weeks have been full of the more glamorous moments and many moments honestly have been so beautiful. But, I’m trying to focus on real life, and what I’m doing here. It’s hard. It’s not all being a seatfiller at the Emmy’s (I had to pass that up), going to the finale of America’s Got Talent (second freakin’ row, btw) or walking over to help Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne look for their missing cat (Found their home. Not their cat.)
I’m doing my best to take it all in, day by day. Less focusing on the ultimate goal and more enjoying the journey because I’d have missed so much already if I was solely focused on the main reason for coming out here. I’m learning that it’s all about who you know and who they know and oftentimes, that’s the best way to get places. Let the pieces fall, but be there with open arms to catch them when they do.
I’ve also learned to open my heart on the difficult days. The days where I miss my bed and my blanket and my car and I’d give anything to fall onto the couch back home at the end of a long day. I try not to think too much about it especially the little things. Like everything I couldn’t fit in the two suitcases and one backpack I brought along. About the freedom to drive myself wherever and whenever I needed to go somewhere. Even as I write this, the deep ache for familiarity creeps in. So, I let the tears fall, and I let myself miss all of the things, and I acknowledge that this is really, really hard and completely terrifying.
However, I renew my promise to myself. The one where I adamantly stand my truth on not giving up when the going gets rough. If it wasn’t hard, it wouldn’t be as significant to the journey. If I didn’t fight when it felt like things might not work out, then I’d never get to see if they did.
I’ll find a place to call home out here, soon, but for the next week, I’ll be in Hollywood. Yup. I mean, don’t confuse it with Beverly Hills because it’s not super glamorous. Definitely not one single complaint about this temporary pad though especially with Chick-Fil-A up the street and In-N-Out (still haven’t gotten there) around the corner. Obviously, I’m super focused on my nutrition goals. I hope to get back to those really soon though and to provide more content significant to my “Train Like Taylor” purpose.
Thankfully, there’s so much looking ahead, and I have the best quality people in my corner fighting alongside me to give my dreams life. I can’t wait to share what’s next with you. Stay tuned.
Feel like hoppin’ on a flight Back to my hometown tonight But something stops me every time The DJ plays my song and I feel alright
trainliketaylor@gmail.com
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