I’ll admit that I haven’t put too much thought into this new year. I know the end of 2018 doesn’t signal a cut off for all of the happiness and light that it’s brought me, but it’s difficult to shake those “starting fresh” vibes. Can I start where I am and grow from there? Can I have another month like this? Before any other major changes come my way? I just really got a break from overwhelming change. I just found a place to grow and focus and look for a direction. I have places and people and adventures that crop up unexpectedly. It’s not something I want to see come to an end. So, no, I haven’t yet thought of any change I hope to meet in the coming year.
The focus on moving to Los Angeles took up the majority of my 2018. It was beautiful and messy and required a lot of energy I never knew I had in me. Since hopping off the plane at LAX (I’ll never not reference Party in the USA), it’s been go, go, go with little time to sit and reflect on this arduous three-month journey. Not that I want to spend much time sitting because we all know I’ll end up taking a nap. However, I deserve a second or two to fully appreciate the transition I’ve made, ya feel? Being so caught up and present from one moment to the next, I don’t always see what I’ve accomplished on a larger scale. At least, I hadn’t until a good friend looked at me and reminded me that I haven’t simply been floating around following my big jump. I’m “fucking swimming.” I’m doing the backstroke in this giant pond with a stupid smile plastered across my face every damn day.
I’ve finally acquired the genuine happiness I knew I deserved this year. That light and bubbly, giddy, glowing feeling coming in stronger than I’ve ever experienced. Even on the long thirteen hour work days and the nights I’ve eaten cereal out of a coffee mug with a fork at 10 pm. Because I’m happy, and it’s all I’ve ever wanted. I don’t need a car or a real mattress or even a bowl and a clean spoon.
2018, you were finally my year in so many ways. You showed me my fearless side. You taught me to open my eyes to what so many are too distracted to notice. To think fast and say yes. To let people take care of me. And, to take care of myself in ways I’ve never had to.
I want to say that the years of darkness. emptiness and continuous rising and falling no longer matter, but they do. I survived them to get here. I trusted that the best was yet to come, and I worked until it did. They made what I have now shine brighter. Or maybe it’s just how much I’m grateful for the light.
Now, I know LA comprises only 1/3rd of the previous year, so surely there’s got to be more to reflect on. I mean… yes and no. I worked as much as possible until I couldn’t mentally take it anymore. I toyed with staying in Maine. I played around in Boston. I even took a couple months to cleanse some mental clutter and uncertainty. But it was all about LA. It was always about when I was getting to LA.
However, there are more highlights from 2018 to which I’m most grateful:
Getting my Dexcom and getting more involved with the Type One community
Dancing All Day, All Day, All Day, for one of my favorite causes
Just a lot of dancing in general
Being on the set of KTLA and seeing Jodi Sweetin
Fam time by the lake
Watching all 15 seasons of ER
Cruising Beverly Hills & Bel Air on Thanksgiving morning
Being a few feet away from Shania Twain
Visiting San Diego to see my girl on her first solo tour in 25 years
And, of course, slowly crafting TrainLikeTaylor to match my ongoing vision
I can’t wait to see my plans for this blog come to life in 2019. Thank you to everyone who’s been keeping up with me and cheering me along through all of the in-betweens.
Now, about this new year…
I’m not one for resolutions or even writing down goals. I think intentions change too frequently. Paths get diverted naturally in the direction meant to be taken whether it makes sense at the time or not. However, I prefer to choose moment by moment where and what I shift my energy toward to manifest what I’m currently set on. And, I’ll be honest I’m not really sure if it works or not. My struggle to focus is surely as real either way, but the flexibility definitely eases the pressure.
So, I’ll keep saying yes. Keep connecting. Keep challenging myself and hoarding all of the lessons. I may not be as clear of what I want to happen in the new year, but I’ll be working on the foundation of living all the while with a few self-improvement intentions in mind:
Try new fitness classes
Dance more!
Cook more but not eat Chipotle any less
Spend more time with good people
Write. A book. Poetry. Random thoughts. Just write.
Finally meet Jillian Michaels, idk
Attend a type one meet up and manage my blood sugars more closely
Put my phone down to be completely present with people
Have you set your intentions for 2019?
You’re given 365 days. One at a time. Each one of those days is a gift just by simply opening your eyes and taking that first deep breath each morning. Are you taking it for granted? Are you spending it wisely? Are you hoping that the next day will be better than the current one or that the next year will be easier on you? Or are you taking control? Accepting responsibility for the life you are capable of building for yourself?
It all sounds a bit preachy and cliche, I feel ya. But that's my secret. That’s how I started this journey toward my best life- by changing my thoughts every day.
It won’t happen unless you commit. Unless you make it better for yourself by weeding out the negativity and drama and whatever other heavy energy you’re keeping around you. But, what about the big hole that may leave you? You choose what you want to fill it with. Creativity. Health. Self-care. Love. Be open minded. Don’t close yourself off to the unknown. That is how you create a wonderful year for yourself.
Cheers, to page one in whichever volume of life you’re living this year.
And, cheers to it never being the wrong time to chase your dreams, baby!
trainliketaylor@gmail.com
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